Kris Allen Tops Susan Boyle For ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ Crown: AT&T Admits Overeager Employees Helped Fans Text For Kris

May 31, 2009 · Filed Under Kind of Satire · 4 Comments 

In a shocker that had Clay Aiken’s ears bleeding, Kris Allen, who did not even participate, won first place in Saturday’s Britain’s Got Talent final, beating out odds on favorite, Susan Boyle.

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know what to feel right now. This is crazy,” said a stunned Allen, 23, of Conway, Ark. “I don’t even know where England is.”

While there are those who believe that zealous Christians wouldn’t vote for the overt sexiness of the signature Boyle shimmy Read more

O’Reilly: Baby-killers and Queers Using Unprincipled Name-Calling To Vilify Judeo-Christians

May 26, 2009 · Filed Under Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Media · 3 Comments 

The truth is that Pro-gay marriage forces have succeeded in their bigot-branding campaign and will not stop with marriage
Bill O’Reilly (5/21/09 column)

How many ways can Bill O’Reilly offer evidence of his blatant bias?  You can stop counting.  It was a trick question.  It’s every way. Bill’s daily attacks on Left, Liberals, Democrats and anything to the left of far right makes this long time IINO (Independent In Name Only) the most disingenuous of the broadcast Lords of Loud.  From Limbaugh on down, there is a perceived, and for the most past, an admitted compact with the Right.  Perhaps only the animated Beck tries to camouflage his prejudice near as much as Bill, but cartoons do tend to skirt reality, so for this chat we’ll discount computer-generated hosts. 

Bill’s latest hit job on the terribleness of the Left blew the circuits on my O’Reilly “Unbalanced and Irrational Says What?” meter.

In his weekly column Bill wrote on the dastardly tactics of the pro-gay marriage advocates.   Here’s a beauty that pounds home the point…

The truth is that pro-gay marriage forces have succeeded in their bigot-branding campaign and will not stop with marriage. Because they won this public relations war, you can expect to see the racist-bigot label marketed in other controversial situations. Already, abortion zealots are branding pro-life people “anti-woman” and “anti-privacy.” The left knows it has a powerful cannon with this bigot stuff.  
 
Damn straight, Bill.  Why can’t you abortion zealots keep your racist-bigot labeling in the righteous realm of the Right’s kindly branding?  You baby-killers, you.  And while you’re at it leftists, stop bombing pro-life clinics.  Cease killing anti-abortion doctors.  Put the brakes on the atrocious pictures of non-aborted fetuses.   And for God’s sake, stop comparing pro-lifer’s stance to Nazi’s and equating legal abortions to the Holocaust. 

Of course Bill uses one of his most tried and true literary techniques…beginning his argument with “The truth is…”  Much like his “Everyone knows that… and Bill’s most persuasive argument, “If you don’t think that you’re an idiot” approach to inconclusive factoids, Bill believes that his words posed as conclusive truths supersede…the truth  

Telling the Folks™ that “the right does it too,” is about as much as he devotes to his so-called balancing act and that only serves as a jump off point to attack the Left, letting names dates and generalities spin about Talking Point Memos and regulars he brings on to confirm the left’s nastiness.

Yep.  Bill tells it like it is.  The pro-choice side has taken the low road with all that “anti-woman” and “anti-privacy” bigot stuff.  Thank God that the pro-life crowd has kept the debate above the fray.  And just like his Independent claim, he alleges no dog in this gay-marriage fight.

Your humble correspondent doesn’t really care much about gay marriage because I believe it is no danger to the Republic and the deity can sort all this stuff out after we’re dead. I take a libertarian position on issues like gay marriage because I want all Americans to be able to pursue happiness equally.

Then he goes on to explain what will happen to the Republic if, as Bill puts it, Lenny marries Squiggy (Note: I know Michael McKean and David Lander…though they do like each other, it’s not in that way.  You can ask their female wives).

I also understand that once America changes marital law for one group — homosexuals — it will have to allow plural marriages and other types of situations under “equal justice for all.” And there is no question the Scandinavian marriage model of anything goes has led to a drastic decline in traditional marriage.

“…other types of situations” is O’Reilly code for potential man-boy NAMBLA and human-goat nuptials  

Certainly no dastardly branding from the guy who “really doesn’t care about gay marriage.” 

Bill ends his column with…

There was a time when we truly were the united states. No longer.

And for much of that we can thank the independent Bill O’Reilly.

Steve
 

New RNC Video Compares Nancy Pelosi To Linda Lovelace

May 24, 2009 · Filed Under Kind of Satire, Media · 2 Comments 
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After first shocking the political world with a video that juxtaposed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi with the James Bond villainess, PUSSY Galore, the Republican National Committee racheted up the sexual political promiscuity stakes by putting out a commercial comparing the speaker with the X-rated star of Deep Throat, Linda Lovelace.

RNC chairman Michael Steele defended the parallel of Pelosi and Read more

Clay Aiken: Criticism of Adam Lambert Taken The Wrong Way. Never Actually Said American Idol Runnerup Was “Too Gay”

May 23, 2009 · Filed Under Kind of Satire · 13 Comments 

Clay Aiken may wish he never opened his mouth or his blog.  Aiken, who finished second to Ruben Studdard in 2003, blasted this season’s runner-up on his blog deriding Lambert’s version of  Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” as “contrived,” “awful,” “slightly frightening,” and added  “Omigod, who dressed that boy?”

Aiken now writes that his comments were just meant to be colorful.

“Yes, I wrote that I thought my ears would bleed when I heard it,” admitted Aiken.  “But I never meant that they actually bled because Adam’s atrocious performance.  I just happen to be shaving when I heard him and cut my ear.  The bleeding was just as much my fault as Adam’s.”

“As far Read more

Cheney Claims CIA Documents Will Show That He Is Still In Charge

May 22, 2009 · Filed Under Dick Cheney, Fox News, Kind of Satire · 6 Comments 

Former Vice President Dick Cheney alleged that the reason President Obama refuses to release the secret CIA papers is that they will not only show that the “enhanced interrogation techniques” approved by the Bush White House worked, but that he and President Bush are still permitted to run the country.

“During a time of war - and to be sure, we were and still are in a war against terror - anything the President does is legal,” said Cheney during his speech at the American Enterprise Institute. “And President Bush had decided, while still in the Oval Office, that our presidency should run at least four more Read more

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