Steve In Ink: The Sorry State of Apologies (Phila Inquirer 5/26/11)

May 26, 2011 · Filed Under Failure · Comment 

May 26, 2011 (Disclaimer: For nearly one month I ran against Arnold
Schwarzenegger in his first gubernatorial race. Admittedly I had very
little chance of winning. Number one, my entire campaign was based on
taking the California’s budget deficit and transferring it into Beverly
Hills. Number two, I was never able to get my housekeeper pregnant…and I
was married to her.)

From the moment he announced his decision to run on The Tonight Show,
Arnold was able to fend off the claims of womanizing, groping,
Kindergarten Cop and other embarrassing behavior for eight years and two
successful elections. Now, the revelation of an out of wedlock child has
set up what will surely become another in a long line of high-profile
apology tours - Edwards, Ensign, Clinton, Woods, Read more

Tags: , , ,

Trump Takes Credit For Bin Laden Death

May 2, 2011 · Filed Under 2012 Election, Satire · 4 Comments 
“I’ve never been more proud of myself.”
 
On what he declared was the “greatest triumph” of his Presidential exploration campaign, Donald Trump declared that his efforts were vital to the killing of Osama Bin Laden.
 
“Today I am even more proud of myself than I was last week,” said a beaming Trump in front of his red and black helicopter emblazoned with the word, TRUMP, he had landed in Times Square during last night’s celebrations injuring at least ten revelers.  “It is unambiguously clear that my push to have President Obama reveal what he claims to be his official birth certificate freed our country to return to the important business of catching up with Bin Laden. In no way am I disavowing the significant role our courageous military played in the successful operation. I just think the record needs to show that without my commitment to finding the truth, we may have never given our brave men the opportunity to do their job.”
 
Trump gave additional credit to Read more

Tags: ,