Beck Changes Birthday To December 25th

September 23, 2009 · Filed Under Glenn Beck, Kind of Satire, Media 

As a followup to his call for a Fast and Prayer for the Republic on the same day as Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement and the religion’s highest holy day, Glenn Beck has officially changed his birthday to December 25th, a day some have been known to celebrate a holiday called Christmas.

“I thought that our founders would have wanted future Americans to celebrate my birthday on a day they didn’t have to work,” said Beck. 

When it was explained that December 25th was also the birth date of Jesus Christ, Beck sobbed. 

“As a Mormon I had no idea  someone else was using that birthday,” wept Beck.  “That the Christ child would have chosen his birthday to coincide with mine is… (wiping away a tear)  I feel like a freakin’ evangelist.”

Beck dismissed his critics and his chance selection of Yom Kippur as a white American day of atonement. 

“First of all, it’s not like anyone owns the day.  Secondly, the day will begin at 12:01AM, when real American days begin, not at sundown like the socialists,” said Beck.  “Finally, there’s far too much of an overreaction.  It’s not like I asked anyone to go to synagogue or feel guilty about not visiting their mother enough.”

Steve

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