Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For 2009

December 29, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Glenn Beck, Media, Satire · Comment 
In a statement released Monday that spread quickly over jihadist Web forums, Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula claimed responsibility for the entire year of 2009, sending the Obama administration into a rush of closed, high level meetings to deal with the political fallout from the year-long attack.

 

Taking credit for everything from Jon and Kate’s breakup, Tiger Woods’ dalliances and the Balloon Boy to the recession, Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize and Glenn Beck, the group that claimed loyalty to Osama bin Laden alleged that Al Qaeda launched 2009 in response to “American aggression” in Yemen, which has been the site of recent U.S. predator drone attacks.  The message maintained that Read more

New GOP Healthcare Talking Points Leaked: The Obama Plan Could Mark End of Bingo

August 3, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Kind of Satire, Media · 3 Comments 

To: Radio/TV Talk Show Hosts and Pundits

From: Michael Steele, GOP Chairman

Subject: FYEO - Health Plan Information Distribution

NOTE: Please make sure this is sold with conviction with a choke in the voice or a Beckian single- tear-running-down-cheek approach. Always refer to Obama’s Killing Fields or Kevorkian.

Remember…Fear sells!

 

There’s far more danger than meets the eye in President Obama’s program. While he promises affordable health insurance for everyone, what he and the Democrats aren’t telling you is that there will be hell to pay if you’re over 55. To the Democrats, 55 is the new 95.

Some of the programs and events that will be affected or prohibited altogether under the president’s tax hike health program include…

Standing in pool and making believe that swirling your arms in the water is exercise will be banned as Read more

Why O’Reilly Was Wrong and Bernie Was Right About Me…And Both Were Wrong About The Philadelphia Inquirer

June 19, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Media · Comment 

A far-left hatchetman, named (Steve) Young.” Bill O’Reilly
“Real journalists, unlike Steve Young…” Bernie Goldberg
You don’t need to read the entire quotes. You can watch it above. Suffice it to say Bill and Bernie felt my column in Tuesday’s Philadelphia Inquirer was a bit…unbalanced. Unlike what Bill says Fox News is.

Let me put this in perspective. I’ve appeared

Read more

Levittown Agrees To Accept Gitmo Prisoners

June 10, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Kind of Satire · Comment 

The Philadelphia, Pennsylvania suburban community of Levittown said Wednesday it has agreed to a U.S. request to temporarily house up to 17 detainees now held at the Guantanamo Bay detention center on Cuba.

James Little, Middletown Township Supervisor, said the administration of President Barack Obama made the request last week and that Levittown was “honored and proud” to resettle the detainees as a humanitarian gesture.

“Look, we have plenty of room at the abandoned Read more

Obama Administration May Allow Bush Administration To Plead Guilty

June 6, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Kind of Satire · 2 Comments 

The Obama administration is considering a change in the law to deal with calls for war crime trials that would clear the way for Bush Administration officials that could be facing the death penalty to plead guilty without a full trial.

The provision could permit prosecutors to avoid airing the details of brutal interrogation techniques as well as the embarrassing takeover of the Bush administration by Vice President Read more

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