Contradiction 2012
“The place is so crowded, no one goes there any more.” Yogi Berra
And so the 2012 Republican paradox some call a presidential primary race begins in earnest… facetiously.
From Newt blaming his infidelity on overzealous patriotism — piggy-backed by Santorum’s marijuana-use admission to defend Gingrich — to Huckabee’s stumbling, bumbling defense of his Obama-birther remarks, to Palin’s tweeting battles with Kathy Griffin, the GOP Bad Boys and Girls of Comedy Tour is heading to a caucus near you.
With the 2012 presidential race still far in the distance, hypocrisy, ambiguity and double standards are rolling toward Iowa and New Hampshire, the epicenters of some of the wildest fluctuations on the political coherence meter. Yes, gentle lady and gentleman voters, it’s once again time to run against who you used to be.
Mitt Romney
“I sustain and support (Rove vs Wade), and the right of a woman to make that choice, and my personal beliefs, like the personal beliefs of other people, should not be brought into a political campaign. I respect and will fully protect a woman’s right to choose.” Mitt Romney, 1994, running for senate in liberal Massachusetts
“I respect and will fully protect a woman’s right to choose.” Mitt Romney, 2002 Massachusetts gubernatorial acceptance speech
“On abortion, I was wrong.” Mitt Romney, 2007 GOP Presidential debate
This year’s John Kerry, Read more
Oh (My) God (2010). Starring Glenn Beck
“You give these answers to Reverend Big Mouth and you tell him that God says he’s a phony…Personally tell him to shut up.” God (George Burns) telling Jerry (John Denver) what to say to a particular evangelical preacher (Oh, God, 1977)
“I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things.” Glenn Beck (Fox News Sunday)
Screenwriter legend, Larry Gelbart, taught me that in the hands of a good comedy writer what is acceptable as gospel to so many can be hysterical satire to many more. Today I can only believe that he’s in heaven running lines with George Burns on how God would admonish Glenn Beck.
Oh (My) God (2010)
Backstage at his Restoring Honor rally, Glenn Beck wipes his brow, accepting congratulations from admirers, some of whom were related to those who had actually read about Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech 47 years before.
Humming “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” Beck retreats to the nearby bathroom to relieve himself. As he washes his hands a black bathroom attendant hands him a towel.
Attendant: Mr. Beck, that was quite uplifting.
Beck: Pshaw. Only God Himself can be uplifting. I am not God. I am only the humble human being God has chosen to speak for him.
Beck pulls out a $25 Goldline coin.
Beck: Do you have change for a Read more
Steele Summoned to Limbaugh Extremely-White House
Republican Party Chairman, Michael Steele was being “ordered to appear” at Rush Limbaugh’s EIB (Excellence In Broadcasting) Florida compound to explain his comments made at a Connecticut fundraiser Thursday where he told a Republican gathering who were expecting someone of consequence. “You don’t do is engage in a land war in Afghanistan,” said Steele, “because everyone who’s tried over a thousand years of history has failed.”
“I certainly didn’t mind him calling Afghanistan, ‘a war of Obama’s choosing,’” said Titular Head of the Remains of the Republican Party, Limbaugh. “That shows that he has what it takes to be a damn good talk show host. But to say that Read more
Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For 2009
Taking credit for everything from Jon and Kate’s breakup, Tiger Woods’ dalliances and the Balloon Boy to the recession, Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize and Glenn Beck, the group that claimed loyalty to Osama bin Laden alleged that Al Qaeda launched 2009 in response to “American aggression” in Yemen, which has been the site of recent U.S. predator drone attacks. The message maintained that Read more
New GOP Healthcare Talking Points Leaked: The Obama Plan Could Mark End of Bingo
To: Radio/TV Talk Show Hosts and Pundits
From: Michael Steele, GOP Chairman
Subject: FYEO - Health Plan Information Distribution
Remember…Fear sells!
There’s far more danger than meets the eye in President Obama’s program. While he promises affordable health insurance for everyone, what he and the Democrats aren’t telling you is that there will be hell to pay if you’re over 55. To the Democrats, 55 is the new 95.
Some of the programs and events that will be affected or prohibited altogether under the president’s tax hike health program include…
Standing in pool and making believe that swirling your arms in the water is exercise will be banned as Read more
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