Steve In Ink (11/27/08)

Caution: Philly references amundo

THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER
Thursday November 27, 2008

It’s Turkey Time Year Round
by Steve Young

Turkey - 1. large birds in the genus Meleagris native to North America. 2. a useless thing, unwise purchase, a box office bomb in entertainment, or a foolish person and their despicable behavior.

Here are just some of 2008’s best turkeys.

Donovan McNabb - The Bird’s quarterback who spent so much time throwing the ball into the ground or the stomach of the opposing team, he never had a chance to read the NFL’s rule book.

Andy Reid - For his inability to place his players in a better position to win during a game or actually answer any question after the game about
why he hadn’t.

13-13 Tie In Cincinnati - See above.

Wall Street - Turned its financial gambling parlor into a stacked game of Russian roulette with every chamber full.

Milton Street - Just “Milton Street.”

Federal Government - As part of the president’s economic stimulus package, they spent $42 million to send out letters telling us that in May we’d get another letter with a $600 check in Read more

Obama Reveals Plans For A Department of Satire

The Obama transition team has indicated the possibility of a dramatic, yet witty change from the status quo. There is serious talk of developing a Department of Satire to meant to deal with the growing amount of absurdities that affect the world today.

“It’s an obvious move that’s time has come,” said National Lampoon creative director, Scott Rubin. “Different from the previous administration, if this one is going to be a laughing-stock they want to do it on purpose. The economy has been a joke. So has the response to it. The housing market, Wall Street, terrorism. They could all use some lightning up. Just handling Vice President Biden’s gaffes Read more

Top Headlines Obama Doesn’t Want To See In The New York Times Tuesday Morning

Records Show That Obama’s Biological Father Was White

Olbermann Makes Obama Worst Person In The World

Colin Powell Changes Mind

New McCain Birth Certificate Proves He Was Born In 1957

Sarah Palin Admits Read more

MSNBC Embarrassment: Network Mistakenly Calls Election For Obama

For Tom Dewey’s sake (look it up kids) the boys at MSNBC made what could be the most embarrassing fumble of the entire 2008 election.
While the electoral college tally still shows the candidates to be in a statistical dead heat - 0 for Obama vs 0 for McCain - this morning at 1:15AM, anchors Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, called the election for Barack Obama.
“Sure, it was humiliating,” said an MSNBC spokesman, “but Read more

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