Glamor, Guts and Gams: Why Mika Should Never Take a Vacation

August 2, 2012 · Filed Under 2012 Election, Joe Scarborough, Media, Mika, Morning Joe · Comment 
2012-08-02-Mika.jpgThis past week Morning Joe co-host Mika Emilie Leonia Brzezinski went on holiday leaving a bunch of young and old farts who spend most of the Starbucks-brewed MSNBC show chest-puffing their ardent notions. Her absence left me having to be content with commercial-break stills of a sinuous and stunning Mika balancing sensually on those unrelenting stems. Didn’t work.

I miss Mika’s passionate and astute input. I miss her engaging eye roll over a Scarborough observation he obviously feels to be so inadequate that he must repeat it incessantly until Donny “I Never Had An Opinion That Isn’t A Fact” Deutsch intrudes with his latest gem. I miss Mika’s vexed reaction to camera one whenever the boys go baseball machismo all over her; a glance so cutting that Jim from “The Office” could only dream to be able to execute said stare in response to Dwight’s latest stroke of foolishness.

I miss my own indignation when Joe rudely interrupts Read more

Oh (My) God (2010). Starring Glenn Beck

September 5, 2010 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Kind of Satire, Media · Comment 

 “You give these answers to Reverend Big Mouth and you tell him that God says he’s a phony…Personally tell him to shut up.” God (George Burns) telling Jerry (John Denver) what to say to a particular evangelical preacher (Oh, God, 1977)

“I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things.” Glenn Beck (Fox News Sunday)

Screenwriter legend, Larry Gelbart, taught me that in the hands of a good comedy writer what is acceptable as gospel to so many can be hysterical satire to many more. Today I can only believe that he’s in heaven running lines with George Burns on how God would admonish Glenn Beck.

Oh (My) God (2010)

Backstage at his Restoring Honor rally, Glenn Beck wipes his brow, accepting congratulations from admirers, some of whom were related to those who had actually read about Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech 47 years before.

Humming “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” Beck retreats to the nearby bathroom to relieve himself.   As he washes his hands a black bathroom attendant hands him a towel.

Attendant: Mr. Beck, that was quite uplifting.

Beck: Pshaw. Only God Himself can be uplifting. I am not God. I am only the humble human being God has chosen to speak for him. 

Beck pulls out a $25 Goldline coin.

Beck: Do you have change for a Read more

The Evidence is in. Glenn Beck and Michael Scott are the Same Person

August 27, 2010 · Filed Under Fox News, Glenn Beck, Media · Comment 

I was listening to Glenn Beck pontificate on his radio show about how what happened in the Third Reich is what is happening in America today and that he was surprised the Jews would not be sensitive to this. Being a Jew I wondered too, but not about the myriad of SS in the Obama administration but how this born-again Mormon knew so much about what I should be sensitive to.

Beck spoke about his ignorance of academia, being that he is self taught, but asked his listeners, “What if I am right?’ Of course he whispered it which makes what he says so cool because then you know he sincerely means it.  It was also at that moment that it all made sense. Glenn Beck is Michael Scott.

Michael Scott is a character in The Office, my favorite sitcom…other than the ones I was paid to write.  Glenn Beck is a character on radio and Fox News.  I now come to believe that they are, in fact, the same character.

It’s really not so much of a leap. Both are stars on their own hit shows. Both are wont to tear up to make an impression. Both have been known to use a blackboard to rationalize a tortured Read more

Glenn Beck Takes Dim-witted Reasoning to Historic Level: Compares BP oil spill to a house fire

May 29, 2010 · Filed Under Fox News, Glenn Beck, Media · 1 Comment 

Offering his audience unambiguous evidence that his logic disconnects from even the most convoluted reasoning, Friday morning on his radio show, Glenn Beck likened the BP oil spill to a house fire.

“If a house burnt down, would we stop building houses?”

Sure we would, Glenn…

If the blaze raged on for over a month.

if the burning house caused the worst environmental disaster in history and there were no firemen who had any idea how to put it out.

if 70 miles of coastline had been contaminated by Read more

Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For 2009

December 29, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Glenn Beck, Media, Satire · Comment 
In a statement released Monday that spread quickly over jihadist Web forums, Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula claimed responsibility for the entire year of 2009, sending the Obama administration into a rush of closed, high level meetings to deal with the political fallout from the year-long attack.

 

Taking credit for everything from Jon and Kate’s breakup, Tiger Woods’ dalliances and the Balloon Boy to the recession, Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize and Glenn Beck, the group that claimed loyalty to Osama bin Laden alleged that Al Qaeda launched 2009 in response to “American aggression” in Yemen, which has been the site of recent U.S. predator drone attacks.  The message maintained that Read more

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