“To call me a partisan hack is ludicrous. I am the least partisan person I know.” Tucker Carlson, (CNN’s Reliable Sources, 3/15/09)
And they say that conservatives don’t know satire. Oh, excuse me. Carlson is a Libertarian. A Libertarian is a conservative who wants to do standup. I know. I wrote the comedy material for the Libertarian presidential candidate, Bob Barr.
As part of his attempted comeback to pundit hilarity, the fired CNN co-host, fired MSNBC host, Tucker Carlson has hit the political cable and news circuit with a hysterical routine on Jon Stewart’s take on CNBC’s (and media-in-general) lack of oversight of big business and the stock market. I hated to give away his best punchline - “To call me a partisan hack is ludicrous. I am the least partisan person I know” - so soon, but when you have prime rib comedy you don’t save it for dessert.
I was waiting for Tucker to go Rodney Dangerfield.
“I tellya, Kurtz, I get no respect. No respect, I tellya.”
Tucker had plenty more bullets in his frivolity belt.
“Jon Stewart is a Read more
(Left - Jon Stewart interviews Jim Cramer)
Has America gotten so callous that we no longer appreciate the fine art of securities fraud?
Am I the only one who’s sick and tired of having pundits and holier than thou’s demeaning the missteps of those who did what we all know we would have done if we were in their very expensive shoes?
It seems that everyone is taking some kid of perverted joy from watching these powerful entities fall. Folks, we’re only talking about money here. It’s not like anyone is dying, except maybe for those who are so distraught about losing their jobs, watching their pensions dissolve or their family fall apart, that they’ve swallowed a gun barrel. So what if there are those who have become so depressed that they’ve crawled into a chronic fetal position in bed, covers over their head, thumb tucked neatly in mouth, unable to face friends and family? Since when does being weak deserve our compassion? Isn’t that what Zoloft and funeral directors are for?
So shame on you, Jon Stewart. Shame on Read more
Caution: Philly references amundo
THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER
Thursday November 27, 2008
It’s Turkey Time Year Round
by Steve Young
Turkey - 1. large birds in the genus Meleagris native to North America. 2. a useless thing, unwise purchase, a box office bomb in entertainment, or a foolish person and their despicable behavior.
Here are just some of 2008’s best turkeys.
Donovan McNabb - The Bird’s quarterback who spent so much time throwing the ball into the ground or the stomach of the opposing team, he never had a chance to read the NFL’s rule book.
Andy Reid - For his inability to place his players in a better position to win during a game or actually answer any question after the game about
why he hadn’t.
13-13 Tie In Cincinnati - See above.
Wall Street - Turned its financial gambling parlor into a stacked game of Russian roulette with every chamber full.
Milton Street - Just “Milton Street.”
Federal Government - As part of the president’s economic stimulus package, they spent $42 million to send out letters telling us that in May we’d get another letter with a $600 check in Read more
The Obama transition team has indicated the possibility of a dramatic, yet witty change from the status quo. There is serious talk of developing a Department of Satire to meant to deal with the growing amount of absurdities that affect the world today.
“It’s an obvious move that’s time has come,” said National Lampoon creative director, Scott Rubin. “Different from the previous administration, if this one is going to be a laughing-stock they want to do it on purpose. The economy has been a joke. So has the response to it. The housing market, Wall Street, terrorism. They could all use some lightning up. Just handling Vice President Biden’s gaffes Read more