Cheney Claims CIA Documents Will Show That He Is Still In Charge

May 22, 2009 · Filed Under Dick Cheney, Fox News, Kind of Satire 

Former Vice President Dick Cheney alleged that the reason President Obama refuses to release the secret CIA papers is that they will not only show that the “enhanced interrogation techniques” approved by the Bush White House worked, but that he and President Bush are still permitted to run the country.

“During a time of war - and to be sure, we were and still are in a war against terror - anything the President does is legal,” said Cheney during his speech at the American Enterprise Institute. “And President Bush had decided, while still in the Oval Office, that our presidency should run at least four more years.”

Conservative legal scholar, John Yoo, the former Justice Department lawyer in the Bush administration and author of the infamous “torture memos” that gave the Bush administration the legal cover to violate the human rights of terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay, said that Cheney’s claim has credence.

“Presidential powers go far beyond anything either real or implied in the Constitution,” said Yoo. “Even in the Declaration of Independence, ‘We the people’ can be argued to mean any collective of more than one person, which President Cheney and Bush were. That makes two of our most cherished documents supportive of anything they chose to do…during a war on terror.”

“I call on President Obama to release the CIA documents and forthwith exit the White House,” said Cheney. “If not I’m afraid I will be obligated to have the Fox News police remove him forcibly.”

“And if I didn’t mention it before,” added Cheney. “He’s black.”

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6 Responses to “Cheney Claims CIA Documents Will Show That He Is Still In Charge”

  1. DDA on May 22nd, 2009 12:41 pm

    Is this story for tral, or is the writer just making fun of the irrationsal Buffoon known as the American Ytaitor. Is anyone going to call this clowns Blugg between the inaine and inept ant the dyfunctional (RNC) Racist NAZI Committee,is haveing a Blasck man that unsettleing and unverving that the White Suprem,acist Press can not function unless it does daily stories on the totally Anti American Party known as the RACIST NZI PARTY (RNC), with all this coverage and Anti Obama rhetoric it is coming across to me that the MEDIA has one job and one job only to uindermine the efforts of the sitting present, with further acknowledgement that they DO NOY demand a release of the necessary documents to say yea or nea to the American Traitor cheney and the White Supremacist party of the (RNC) Racist Nazi Party.

  2. Steve Young on May 22nd, 2009 1:38 pm

    I would assume that the RNC is not so much racist as they represent only one race.

    SY

  3. CLARENCE SWINNEY on May 22nd, 2009 5:06 pm

    saved lives is no excuse

    for breaking a law

    driver thru 20 mph neighborhood at 70 mph.
    Hits young boy maimed for life.

    I am sorry but I saved the life of my girl I was rushing to the hospital.

    You know. THINGS HAPPEN.

    No man is above the law.
    How many times did we hear it on Bill/Monica!

    Let the courts decide for us.

  4. Laurel Marshall on May 22nd, 2009 5:38 pm

    FORMER vice-president richard cheney (megalomaniac) is trying his damnedist to divert attention away from himself by pointing his fingers at Obama. DON’T LOOK AT THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!

  5. Dee DeFord on May 23rd, 2009 5:05 am

    The heart and mind of Dick Nixon is alive and well in the soulless body of the blood sucking criminal, Dick Cheney.

  6. Steve Young on May 23rd, 2009 10:07 am

    Nixon admitted to thinking he was above the law. Cheney believes he is the law. He needs to be interviewed by David Frost.

    SY

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