Democrats Block Bachmann’s Attempt To Switch Parties
Representative Michele Bachmann (R, Minn) announcement today that she planned to re-register as a Democrat, has sent the Democratic leadership into crisis mode
“Arlen Specter was one thing,” said Majority Leader, Nancy Pelosi(D, CA). “Having Bachmann on our side has me thinking of going Libertarian.”
Bachmann, who’s been known to challenge sanity said she “saw the writing on the wall,” literally.
“When I woke up this morning I found that someone had scrawled, ‘Arlen makes a lot of sense,’ on my bedroom wall and it looked a lot like Mitch’s (Senate Minority Leader McConnell) handwriting.”
“With Norm (Coleman) losing to Franken, Arlen going turncoat and only 21% of people polled identifying themselves as Republicans, I was thinking of heading over there myself,” said McConnell. “Michelle has always danced to her own song. Unfortunately, the song is ‘They’re Coming To Take Me Away’.”
Bachmann, who has been known to get her facts somewhat inaccurate, yesterday linked the Swine Flu to the Democratic Party saying the last time we dealt with a similar outbreak was during Jimmy Carter’s term. When reminded that it was not under Carter, but during Ford, Bachmann wouldn’t be swayed “Carter was a real president, Harrison Ford only played one.”
“Even I’m having a hard time not cracking up when I have her on,” said Sean Hannity. “The woman is such a nut I’m surprised some squirrel hasn’t already whisked her away.”
“But I tellya,” Hannity added.
Bachmann said she’s making the move because she was wary of the competition she might face in her reelection campaign.
“Arlen made it very clear that winning in Pennsylvania would be a struggle, and being that I’m not even from Pennsylvania, reelection would even be harder for me.”
“We’re telling Congresswoman Bachmann that we already has maxed out the number of Democrats allowed,” said Pelosi. “If that doesn’t work we’re just going to bolt the fucking door.”
In other political news, Republican senators and Congressmen are reported to be convening at a Virgina location where Minority Whip John Boehner (R,Ohio) will be dispensing juice cups for a ritual party suicide.