Election Sex
While Barack Obama promised hope for so many who have so long had none, there is one large segment of the population who has already had their hopes realized last night with the election of the first African-American president.
I’m talking about married men, albeit, Democratic married men.
Rich, poor, black, white, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, regardless of where they live or what they do for a living, the election of Barack Obama had possibility for the married man turn into a reality.
They had sex.
With their wives.
Raw, unadulterated, hot and heavy - just like the day before they were married - sex.
“It was kind of like New Years Eve, Christmas and Passover all rolled into one,” said one makeup smeared, soccer-mom. “I couldn’t wait to find an empty voting booth and rip off my children’s father’s clothes.”
Some wives reported that all they could think of was Obama, but most husbands reported that they could care less.
“President-elect Obama said that we shouldn’t expect miracles,” said one man who was unable to wipe the smile off his face, “but ovbiously he doesn’t know everything.”
And this isn’t to say that Republican married men didn’t benefit, as many hangdog right wing talk show Folks™ report giving their husbands some fashion of sympathy sex.
“I needed a distraction from the horrific pain and harry just happened to be there,” said one housewife. “I mean Bob….Although I fantasized he was Sean Hannity.”
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