Fox News Tea Bags America (No Tea-Bagging Jokes Included)

April 14, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Media 

(Note: Given the context of the story, not referring to the double entendre comic effect of tea-bagging is perhaps the most difficult, yet most prodigious accomplishment of my supposed satirical career)  

Ah, the fine art of American protest. Civil rights marches, antiwar protests, pro-life rallies.

But could there a more pristine example of Americans pleading their case than the Boston Tea Party, a 1773 protest by colonists in Boston against the British government? After Boston officials refused to return three shiploads of taxed tea to Britain, a group of colonists boarded the ships and threw the tea into Boston Harbor. That iconic event has become more than any other, the meridian for so many compelling protests since and the most amazing of all, was that they were able to put it together without talk radio or a cable news network pushing it.

But that’s all changed. On April 15, tax day, the latest version of the tea party will stretch across the country as fed up citizens will take to the streets and nearby waterways protesting President’s American Recovery and Reinvestment Act and pretty much anything else that Obama has attempted to do - and some things he hasn’t attempted - in his first two months in office.

What these protesters are doing isn’t so much the story as much as who is promoting the event…Fox News. It isn’t official but there’s so much teeing up of these tea party events by the fair and balanced network that you’d think Liptons is their chief advertiser.

I’m sure that there were any number of national figures who supported the Boston colonists in ‘73, but they were protesting  King George, the leader of ANOTHER COUNTRY. The country we were fighting against for our independence.  Today an entire television network, the leading cable news network, the fair and balanced one, is leading the outcry against our country’s direction, though I’m taking a wild guess that the direction they’re protesting is the Democratic one.

Most of the Fox hosts have been promoting the tea party homage to our revolutionary forefathers. Patriots like Jefferson, Washington and Adams. Only the names have changed.  Hannity, Cavuto and O’Reilly.

Some Fox hosts will be showing up at the tea party protests, but the leading figure by far is Fox’s newest leading man, Glenn Beck. Part politico, part drama queen, part comic, part Paul Revere, part Howard Beale, Beck has been alerting the countryside since a good millisecond after Justice Roberts muffed Obama’s swearing-in.

The Socialists are coming! The Socialists are coming!

But Beck is no one note patriot. He’s also warned us of every Obama’s extremist wrong-headed country-direction-taking political agenda and how undemocratic they are.

The Marxists are coming! The Fascists are coming!

Yes, picture Paul Revere, if Paul Revere had choked back tears as he sounded the alert.

One if (choke) by land. Two if (choke) by sea. Three if by (choke) Democrat.

Beck claims, “I’m not a journalist (pause, chokes back tear, and hit it…). I’m just a guy who cares about this country.”

Along with promoting the tea-bagging events (he’ll be live from the Sacramento protest), Beck is behind the”9-12 Project.” His mission statement says that “We want to get everyone thinking like it is September 12th, 2001 again.”

Is there anything more patriotic than having the day after the most horrific attack on the American mainland feeling in the pit of your stomach?  Beck believes it’s how we take our country back…um, I guess, from the ones we just elected. 

(Actual 3/13/09 Beck on Fox News broadcast text, prefaced by video of 9-11 attack)

“Are you ready to become that person you were (quiver, choke), that day (choke) after 9-11? On 9-12. I told ya, (voice shaking) for weeks, you’re not alone… You are the secret. You are the answer. (Choke, long pause) I’m sorry. I just love my country and I fear for it. (Long pause, wipe away tear).”

That he didn’t have on a raincoat and tell us that he was mad as hell and wasn’t going to take it any more had to be an oversight.

Beck and Fox News claim this isn’t political. Perhaps it is coincidence that these non-political protests happen to start barely a month after Obama took office. Really.  Who had a chance to find a tea bag during the eight years before?

The fact is, this is political and that’s all well and good. The original tea party boys would be proud. But isn’t about time that we finally retire the Fox News “Fair and Balanced” moniker. For years, led by O’Reilly, Fox News has attacked the New York Times, NBC and any number of other media outlets of being left wing demagogues. But Fox News continually puts out the message they are only telling it like it is. I think we can put that to rest. After this week, anyone who believes Fox News is fair and balanced probably thinks that Keith Olbermann will one day bring on a guest who doesn’t agree with him.

Steve

Comments

9 Responses to “Fox News Tea Bags America (No Tea-Bagging Jokes Included)”

  1. Rick Douglas on April 14th, 2009 12:13 pm

    I plan on attending a protest in Iowa, the motivating factor being massive government spending of citizen’s money on pork-barrel projects that congressmen and senators utilze to get re-elected. Is there something wrong with that?

    Rick,
    No protest protesting here. Just that Fox News purports to be F&B and then promotes the hell out of what we all know is an anti-Obama protest.
    SY

  2. 1PissedOffSandy on April 14th, 2009 3:37 pm

    Only one tea pun? That tees me off.

  3. HAPPY FILMORE on April 14th, 2009 4:27 pm

    These guys are dressing like buffoons and protesting their own tax breaks.

  4. Steven K on April 14th, 2009 4:40 pm

    This is really just a bunch of astroturfing. They’re stirring up populist rage with no direction saying it’s non-political. All it will do is bring out the angry people who are angry at any number of things and coalesce their anger at Obama.

    But it’s meant to “bring the country together?”

    They say to bring signs, but not “political
    signs.” It is a nondescript protest for a nondescript goal. It’s fake
    outrage at an invisible issue.

    I got an email that started out:

    ENOUGH! Wasting OUR Money!

    ENOUGH! Shredding OUR Constitution!

    ENOUGH! Destroying OUR Freedoms!

    Wasting our money in Iraq? On useless missile defense shields? On 187
    $150-million fighter jets that have never seen a combat mission?

    Shredding our constitution? Like torturing people? Like removing the
    right of habeas corpus? Like suppressing the right on “free speech” in
    what Bush called “free speech zones?

    Destroying our freedoms? Like Dick Cheney’s secret assassination squad
    that operated out of the VP’s office?

    This protest is late in coming, but the people behind it are missing
    the fact that it was their heroes that destroyed our freedoms.

    I might take a sign down to the local protest that says “I don’t know what I’m angry about!”

    It’s a stupid joke.

    Within the first month of Obama’s presidency he signed a tax cut for 95% of Americans. But for some reason these talking heads on TV (Hannity, Beck) are convincing people he’s raising taxes.

    It’s a big lie.

    They claim to be trying to bring unity back to the US, as we had on 9/12. Of course this is also a lie because it’s really a move to fire up conservatives AGAINST the current administrations.

  5. John Guerra on April 15th, 2009 9:29 pm

    To Rick, the one attending Iowa gathering of Fox News suckers.
    Why is it as a patriotic American, do I feel a gigantic sigh of relief now that Fox news’ favorite politicians are out of office? There is no doubt that we have been shamed and threatened by Bush’s presidency in incredibly un-American ways.
    If you buy this Fox News tea party stuff, you’re a mental case. That’s all there is to it.

  6. Kat on April 16th, 2009 1:13 pm

    Silly Faux news! They claim there’s a tax revolt but without taxes, who would fund the wars and the Military Industrial Complex that they love so much?

    Kats last blog post..Shifting dental care to the ER could further decay budget

  7. sean in newport beach on April 16th, 2009 9:56 pm

    All you Teabagged repuklicans are just mad because the Democratic nutz slapped you all across the face last November!

    I like how McCain though teabagged Sarah Palin on the late night shows. His lack of comments about her were funny.

    I hope Obama keeps teabagging the rich 2% next year by repealing the 1 year repeal of the 2010 estate tax

    Those rich old crybabies deserve to be Teabagged by the middle class for a change

  8. Todd on April 17th, 2009 4:55 pm

    “Boston colonists in ‘73, but they were protesting King George, the leader of ANOTHER COUNTRY. The country we were fighting against for our independence.”

    If you want to be more effective, get your history straight. In 1773 we were not yet at war with Britain. The Boston Tea Party was an act against the participants own country. We were British subjects at that time. This kinda takes the blow out of your argument. You should rethink and reword your stance.

  9. Document Destruction Chicago on April 14th, 2010 8:13 pm

    Fox news is a joke. The reporting they do and the stories they announce just screams biased reporting.

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