January 12, 2011 · Filed Under Glenn Beck, Kind of Satire 

Yesterday, Glenn Beck announced his plans for a “Day of Service rally to be held in Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, January 15th. 

I think it is time that every American recommit to the ideals of the founding fathers with white people from all walks of life getting together to solve the nation’s most pressing problems,” said a tearful Beck on his Fox News show. “This is not a political event, nor is it day meant to pay homage to my humble, though clearly noble, achievements.”
Told that his day falls on Martin Luther King’s birthday and days before the federal holiday set aside to honor King, Beck said he was unaware of the “mere coincidence.
In no way was this meant to coincide with the supposed King holiday, said a lip-quivering Beck. God gives us just so many days through the year and if those honorable people choose to hold their day the same day of myDay of Service, that is their right. But if the mainstream media was honest, they would tell you that if the Founding Fathers were in charge today, King’s day would have been only considered 3/5th of a holiday. My day is meant to be a full 24 hours.  Of course the socialist left will twist my words and try to make what I said racist.”
Beck’s Atlanta location for his day is also the birthplace of King.
“I guess now I’m to blame for where a person gets born,” said Beck. “Next thing I’ll be the reason Obama was born in Kenya.”
Among the planned activities, Beck’s DOS volunteers will be visiting elderly billionaires, delivering food to homeless Wall Street brokers and giving away free snake oil to Beck followers who make under $40,000 a year and still believe anything he says is in their best interest.
All expenses for the day will be provided by Goldline, said Beck haltingly.“Remember, you can’t spell gold without God.”  



  1. Team Afro on February 16th, 2011 1:21 am

    Glenn Beck is the scariest of all the scary types of Americans. He is mart enugh to manipulate the masses to his own ends and he is sociopathic enough to not careabout the results of his words or actions. Of course Beck wants to slight those who want to celebrate MLK day and of course Beck wants to “divide and conquer”. The sad part about it is that he is not the champion of republicans or conservatives or white people, etc. Beck is the champion of Beck. Lining his pockets and playing the 21st century messiah is all that Glenn Beck cares about. His followers are just messof tools to be used in his little game.

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