Keith vs Bill: No Thrilla in Cablela

April 27, 2009 · Filed Under Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Media, Rush Limbaugh 

On Bill O’Reilly’s TV Factor last Wednesday, the No-spinster kept trying to get his opponent into a clinch, interrupting nearly every sentence columnist and Fox News contributor, Ellis Henican threw that wasn’t going the way Bill wanted — which was pretty much every one of them. Body-blow, body-blow, body-blow. O’Reilly was bloodied to the point he had to be bleeped — “Torture, my ass” — though I’m not really sure why. We’re talking cable.

Bill kept hitting the canvas more than Michaelangelo.  The only thing that saved O’Reilly was the commercial bell.   Maybe that’s part of the reason he spews senselessness like spittle from stroke-ridden ex-fighter.   He’s punchdrunk.

You have to give O’Reilly credit. He regularly books Henican, as well as Temple University’s Professor Marc Hill, both of whom are lefties who consistently pummel Bill with flurries of facts and clear-thinking logic. On the other hand, and network — Countdown/MSNBC — Keith Olbermann, who although has the facts on his side, rarely (ever?) brings on anyone from the other side who disagrees with him.

At 6′4″ and both weighing in at well over 200 pounds, the heavyweights are imposing figures, but they’re two completely different types of brawlers. O’Reilly is willing (unaware?) that he is taking a beating while Olbermann doesn’t want to mess up his hair. In boxing parlance Olbermann is Floyd Patterson — though with a much harder punch — a solid champion who for years ducked the killer left hand of mauler Sonny Liston, until no contenders were left.

Of course, the Liston bout and the rematch ended Patterson’s championship reign and for all intent and purposes, his career. O’Reilly, without much hair to worry about, has been the undisputed cable champion for years, but a great deal of that has to do with the fact that his network can be picked up with a basic programming package and has a committed-Right leaning audience, no matter how many times Bill trips over reason. Olbermann’s MSNBC costs additional dollars to pick up on cable or satellite and the liberal/Democratic crowd just isn’t as dedicated to a we’re right every day in every way sense of Fox News viewers. 

Both will say they’re willing to challenge ideology and/or politico no matter which side, though with both those bouts are rare, if at all. O’Reilly claims to have no dog in the political fight, but it doesn’t take more than watching one TV Factor to understand that O’Reilly smashes the left a good 99 percent of the time and when he doesn’t, his camp houses plenty of hounds, name of Morris, Ingerham, Gingrich, Beck, et al to do his dirty work.

O’Reilly and Olberman make taking shots against their networks and each other a daily workout. O’Reilly uses General Electric and NBC as his punching bags, while Olbermann jabs O’Reilly, Fox News and News Corp chieftan Rupert Murdoch unmercifully during his “Worst Person of the Day” segments. These one-note attacks have all the excitement of your momma insults while shadow boxing. Neither delivers a knockout nor even necessitates a cutman. Without actually appearing in the same ring at the same time, this type of combat is pure posturing.

They’ll never appear on each other’s show — O’Reilly won’t even mention Olbermann’s name — but if either of them truly wants to be considered anything other than king of their own division, they have to go up against each other. Toe to toe, face to face, mouth to mouth.

I call for a neutral site. A pay-per-view Madison Square Garden 15 rounder would make for an event that would rival Ali-Frazier, Tunney-Dempsey, or even Riggs-King. It wouldn’t hurt to make it a steel cage match. Prelims could pit Limbaugh vs Franken, Hannity vs Maddow, Matthews 2002 vs Matthews 2009. It doesn’t matter who’s left standing — they’ll all claim victory — but it would be fun.

And after all, isn’t that what talk shows are really about.

Steve

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Comments

5 Responses to “Keith vs Bill: No Thrilla in Cablela”

  1. Allonfla on April 27th, 2009 11:40 am

    Franken is too reasonable to go up against Rush - it needs to be a flaming Liberal v. Rush (the flaming idiot).

    Hannity v. Maddow? - A completely unfair fight. That’s like Mike Tyson (Maddow) v. Pee Wee Herman (Hannity), Einstein v. Frankenstein - Hannity would get pounded and then canceled.

  2. Ebon on April 27th, 2009 1:00 pm

    Allonfla had a good point, you need someone just as strident to match with Limbaugh. How about Noam Chomsky?

  3. CLARENCE SWINNEY on April 27th, 2009 4:00 pm

    SPIN THAT MORAL

    NO MAN IS ABOVE THE LAW

    NO ADMINISTRATION IS ABOVE THE LAW

    NO JUSTIFICATION IS ABOVE THE LAW

    DID ONE BREAK THE LAW

    CLINTON IMPEACHMENT WAS

    NO MAN IS ABOVE THE LAW

    A CIVIL SUIT CASE

    NO CONGRESSMAN CAN BE CHARGED IN A CIVIL SUIT WHILE IN OFFICE

    THE PRESIDENT CAN.

    HYPOCRITE FREAKNUTS

    HOW CAN DMEOCRATS ALLOW SUCH JUNK TO PASS?

    THEY DO NOT HAVE TOGETHERNESS ON SUBJECTS WITH ONE SOURCE INFO

    TAC & SPEND lIBERAL SO VERY STUPID.

    DEMOCRATS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO REFUTE IT WITH– PAY OUR WAY– VERSUS ATTACK ON –SPEND AND BORROW KIDS PAY TOMORROW

    THE PARTY NEEDS SP0KESPERSONS SINGING FROM SAME SONG BOOK WITH BRIGHT CHOIIR LEADER.

    DEMOCRATS BUILT AMERICA
    GOOGLE
    CLARENCE SWINNEY
    + 82 DEMOCRATIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS
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    clarence swinney
    political research historian
    reagan-clinton -bush
    author-LIFEAHOLIC–workaholic to lifeaholic success
    unpublished-ALL AMERICAN PARTY
    unpublished–SCUMBAG EXPRESS-How ro waste 100M in a failed effort to destroy an administration
    unpublished-FIRST TERM–CLINTONOMICS VS REAGANOMICS- first round KO by Clinton

    cswinney2@triad.rr.com

  4. CLARENCE SWINNEY on April 27th, 2009 4:13 pm

    MUSH DIMBAUGH

    A few years ago he said:”That media watch group FAIR edited 4,000 hours of my transcripts and found 45 little errors.”

    I got the report from FAIR

    It extrapolated into over 10,000 LIES(intent to deceive)

    I taped his TV thirty minute program and replayed after golf. I found one to five lies on each program. I never edited a single program without finding one LIE(intent to deceive).

    The last time he was on (or my last view)
    TV the first four things he said were LIES. Blatant Lies.

    I edited Ann Coulter writing and found 117 LIES on just 155 Pages of her writings.

    Fox news lies can be found daily on newshounds.org and mediamatters.org

    A book “There He Goes Again” listed over 300 incorrect statements by Reagan.

    Reagan had more charged with crimes than grand total since 1900.

    cswinney2@triad.rr.com

    p.s. I have never found a single lIE(intent to Deceive) Clinton told us on policy.

    I am open to hearing some.

  5. GeorgeS on May 21st, 2009 5:56 am

    Hannity vs Maddow? That would last maybe 18 seconds, though Hannity has had Rachel on several times, as I recall.

    The real fight to watch would be Maddow vs Coulter. The problem would be that Maddow (DPhil, Oxford) really IS as smart as Coulter thinks SHE is.

    When Olbermann had Ed Schultz on to promote Ed’s new program, he said that Rachel is charming and funny and he (Olbermann) is an *sshole.

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