Levittown Agrees To Accept Gitmo Prisoners

June 10, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Kind of Satire 

The Philadelphia, Pennsylvania suburban community of Levittown said Wednesday it has agreed to a U.S. request to temporarily house up to 17 detainees now held at the Guantanamo Bay detention center on Cuba.

James Little, Middletown Township Supervisor, said the administration of President Barack Obama made the request last week and that Levittown was “honored and proud” to resettle the detainees as a humanitarian gesture.

“Look, we have plenty of room at the abandoned Levitz Furniture warehouse in the Country Club Shopping Center,” said

Little.  ”And the money we’re getting should go a good way in paying for that fire truck we’ve been looking at for the past two years.”

Two U.S. officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the U.S. was prepared to give Levittown up to $200 million in development, budget support and other assistance in return for accepting the prisoners and as part of a mutual defense and cooperation treaty that is due to be renegotiated this year.

Area residents are taking to the idea.

“Hey, since the ice cream parlor at Greenwood Dairies closed down we’ve all been looking for something to do,” said longtime resident, George Bush. “And if one of these sumavabitches thinks of trying to escape, I’ve got a new semi-automatic I’ve just been itching to try out.”

Developing.

Steve

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