MCCAIN GETS JUMP ON OBAMA

July 8, 2008 · Filed Under 2008 Election, Satire 
Washington, D.C.(Steveyoungonpolitics.com) - In a break with tradition, and in an attempt to counter Barack Obama’s announcement to accept the Democratic presidential nomination at Denver’s 76,000 seat Invesco Field at Mile High, John McCain will accept the Republican presidential nomination on the Robert Street Bridge, a reinforced concrete multiple-arch bridge that spans the Mississippi River in Minneapolis-St Paul instead of the Xcel Energy Center, site of the party’s national convention.
 
Site of McCain’s acceptance Speech

“For us to be able to do it on the Robert Street Bridge is an opportunity for thousands of people who would have sat through three excruciatingly painful days, only to find out that John McCain was actually going to be their candidate, to make an important choice,” said Republican National Committee Chairman, Mike Duncan. “Either work faithfully for the next sixty days in a hopeless effort to talk the electorate into voting for four more years of Republican leadership (sic), or jump ship. The ship cost was prohibitive, and the bridge was already there, so…” added Duncan, who has a penchant for ending sentences with an ellipsis.

With the move, McCain will emulate Barry Goldwater, the last candidate from either party to deliver an acceptance speech from a bridge in 1964.

Steve

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Comments

3 Responses to “MCCAIN GETS JUMP ON OBAMA”

  1. 1PissedOffLady on July 8th, 2008 11:06 am

    News Flash, Up Date…Former Boy Scout Mike Duncan said, “I never forgot the Scouts’ first lesson, always be prepared.”

    In accordance with the precept, the DNC is making plans to rent out three stalls in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport for McCain’s acceptance speech in the event that convention goers commit Republican lemmingcide when they realize he’s really their candidate and no longer presumptive.

    It’s twew! It’s twew!

  2. The Oracle on July 9th, 2008 6:30 am

    Ring. Ring.

    “Hello. 911.”

    “Please. Please. Send help immediately. We’ve got a jumper on the Robert Street Bridge!!! He keeps yelling that he’ll jump if he doesn’t get elected president. And something about ponies. Lots and lots of ponies.”

  3. Progressive Patriot on July 9th, 2008 8:43 pm

    “With the move, McCain will emulate Barry Goldwater, the last candidate from either party to deliver an acceptance speech from a bridge in 1964.”

    Does McCain remember how Goldwater’s presidential run turned out? Go ahead, emulate Goldwater!

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