Merriam-Webster Places Dick Morris’ Picture Next To Word “Pathetic”

November 27, 2008 · Filed Under Fox News, Kind of Satire 

2008-11-03-morris_sm2.gifpa·thet·ic [puh-thet-ik] 1. causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc.; pitiful; pitiable: a pathetic letter; a pathetic sight. affecting or moving the feelings.3.pertaining to or caused by the feelings.4.miserably or contemptibly inadequate: In return for our investment we get a pathetic three percent interest. 5. Dick Morris

In what Merriam-Webster editors are attributing to the voluminous usage, or citations, the forthcoming 2009 edition of the world-famous dictionary has added political pundit Dick Morris’s picture and name as one of the possible definitions for the word “pathetic.”

“We had seriously thought that we’d be adding it to the definition of “fallacious” or “wrong” as in the sentence, ‘Dick Morris is always wrong,’” said Webster’s VP, Noah Meriam-Webster, ” but one of our editors found an instance where he was right, though it was in actuality him just agreeing to something Sean Hannity said.  He came close to being pictured next to “self-promotion” but then we’d have to pull out Bill O’Reilly’s picture.  As far as being pathetic, Morris has found it’s way into common usage.” 

Morris has spent the part two years, mostly appearing on Fox News to push his books and websites with predictions and other speculation that has been painfully inept.  Pathetic, really.  From predicting that Hillary Clinton would face a “nightmare” in her 2006 senate race against Republican Jeanine Pirro to theorizing Clinton would face Condoleezza Rice for the presidency in 2008.  Morris saved his best for forecasting President Bush’s handling of Katrina.  “Responding to disasters is a source of presidential strength and popularity, and Bush is about to show how it is done.”

Recently, Morris pathetically (Dick Morrisly) tried to defend himself from taking money from taking thousands of dollars in ad revenue from, a group he has repeatedly promoted and fundraised for on television and in his columns without disclosing that fact. 

Editors point to the heavy amount of citations that came from usage such as “You take money to push a partisan political group without revealing it to the audience? What are you, Dick Morris?” or “Your hatred for Hillary Clinton is past pitiable.  It’s Dick Morris.”

Even the kids are using it,” said Merriam-Webster.

“Brad, you are more than a loser.  You’re freaking Dick Morris.”

“From now on when anyone says ‘If you look up the word pathetic in Websters, there’s a picture of Dick Morris,’ it won’t just be a cliché,” added Merriam-Webster.

Happy Turkey, Steve


One Response to “Merriam-Webster Places Dick Morris’ Picture Next To Word “Pathetic””

  1. David Roberts on November 27th, 2008 6:46 pm

    Roget’s Thesaurus also lists “Dick Morris” under “pathetic” and also “toe-sucker”. He’s quite a “Dick”.

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