Neiman Marcus and Sarah Palin Set Deal For Clothing Line After Election
In an arrangement not to be announced until November 4th, the upscale specialty department store chain, Neiman-Marcus and Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin have agreed in principal to open a chain of outlet stores offering discounted Palinwear™, while creating a line of higher-priced Palinwear™ for their upscale locations.
A representative from Neiman Marcus said their new Palinwear™ Collection will be affordable for today’s hockey mom as well as the plumbers’ ex-wives who haven’t been getting the support necessary to buy at our upscale stores.
“Of course there are plenty of women, as well as some pro-American drag queens who just want to look like Sarah,” said Neiman Marcus spokeswoman, Ann Taylor. “The clothes that were purchased by the Republican National Committee for Governor Palin will need a home after the election. We’re not talking knockoffs here. We’ll be selling those in the foreign markets overseas where Sarah’s stylings have gathered a huge, though unAmerican, following.”
Taylor said the Palinwear™ outlet may just be the start of an ever-growing “Palin-franchise.”
“We want to be the place real Americans go for all their Palin needs,” said Taylor. “Expect to see a UBetcha™ line of women’s casual, Big As The 49th™ for the plus-sized, and Whoops™, a hip outlet for coolest in unwed teen- maternity apparel.”
“Just Todd™ will embrace the real American outdoorsmen,” said Taylor. ”Just Todd™ will have everything from the Pit Bull ™ line of work and ski-bum outerwear to First Dude™ goin’ to meetin’ formalwear and Look! I Bet They’re Plannin’ Something™, a sportsman’s optical department with lenses capable of ’seeing neighboring countries.’”
McCain/Palin campaign denied to comment on the stores but looked to a Palin vice presidency.
“Our only plans for Governor Palin center around her running the Senate and preparing the her inevitable takeover of the presidency,” said McCain/Palin spokesman, Tucker Bounds.
“We’re in a win-win situation,” said Taylor. ”If Obama wins, 95% of the public will have tax cuts with which to buy Palinwear™. If McCain/Palin wins, the people making over $250,000 will have enough money to buy RNC originals. And if things go right, Cindy McCain will take these stores off our hands when the buzz peters out.”
In other Nieman-Marcus acquisition news the over-priced cash cow announced an additional agreement with Palin’s makeup stylist, Amy Strozzi, who was paid more than any other McCain staffer for the past two months. The Lipstick on The Sow™ cosmetic line will be expensive, but what what Neiman Marcus and the RNC say, “Is absolutely necessary to sell a pig in a poke…whatever that means.”
The way we look at it, it had to be a package deal,” said Taylor. “This Strozzi woman must be really good or know where the bodies are buried to get paid that much. Either way, that’s the type of business person we want to be in business with.”