Obama Considering Cheney For Reelection Team

April 22, 2009 · Filed Under Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, Kind of Satire 

Saying that there’s no better campaign strategy than to have one of the crankiest characters ever to run the country telling the world he doesn’t agree with your policies, the Obama reelection committee is considering the addition of former vice president Dick Cheney to head their 2012 campaign.

“Dick Cheney has done for us what Imus did for Rutgers women’s basketball or Glenn Beck has done for sanity,” said Obama chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel. “The feeling is, if Dick’s against it there must be something good in it. Our guess is if Cheney decides to criticize Adolf Hitler, a lot of good Americans will rethink their negative attitude towards the Fuhrer. You don’t let that kind of power go to your opponent.”

In his first interview after leaving office, Cheney told CNN’s John King, “…(Obama) is making some choices that, in my mind, will, in fact, raise the risk to the American people of another attack. Probably nuclear.  Probably tomorrow.”  This past week, Cheney told Fox News’s Sean Hannity he found Obama’s handshake with Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez “could set off another World War III or IV or whatever roman numeral we’re on.”

Emanuel calls it the O’Reilly Factor.

“Look what Bill O’Reilly did for Al Franken. Before O’Reilly began his attacks against Franken, Al was just a comic. Bill has Fox News sue him, Franken’s books fly off the shelf. Bills say Al has no chance to win his Minnesota election, now Franken has his senate seat warming up in Washington. At this rate, O’Reilly could attack Franken right into the White House.”

Bringing Cheney into the Obama camp is not a last minute decision.

“We’ve had our eyes on Cheney ever since he said that we’d be greeted by Iraqis as liberators and that the war would be over in weeks,” said Emanuel. “Our only fear with the former vice president is that he’ll stop talking.”

Emanuel said that the addition of Cheney wouldn’t be the last for the campaign.

“After Rush Limbaugh completely castrates the Republican Party, we look forward to bringing him on.”

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