Palin Pledges To Wipe Out Abuses of Power “Starting With That Alaskan Governor”

October 14, 2008 · Filed Under 2008 Election, Kind of Satire, Sarah Palin 

In a stump speech yesterday meant to promote herself and John McCain as strong reformers of government corruption, Republican VP nominee, Sarah Palin, promised to stomp out misuse of government by elected officials, “no matter where that leads us.”

But in what might stop her from reading bits and pieces of news articles from newspapers to learn “stuff about the world,” Palin referenced a “news story that I read in the…New York Times (pause for crowd “boo”), about a corrupt official completely out of control - really off the reservation, if ya know what I mean - in the northwestern United States.”

Palin went on to tell the crowd that, “John McCain and myself are the types of mavericks who will take on any abuse, anywhere, and if need be, starting with that Alaskan governor,” said Palin, unaware of the irony of having to confront herself. “Why I wouldn’t be surprised if that governor is paling around with terrorists.”

Feeding off the crowd’s cheers of “Lynch her” and “Let’s photoshop her head on top of a naked picture of Dr. Laura,” Palin said that she intends to be the “first woman to set foot on Mars in heels,” “have that darn weather behave” and “make chocolate taste like vanilla.”

When a reporter explained to Palin that the Alaskan governor referred to was, in fact, her, she promised she would “find out more and get back to ya.”

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6 Responses to “Palin Pledges To Wipe Out Abuses of Power “Starting With That Alaskan Governor””

  1. ernieson on October 14th, 2008 5:46 pm

    Sounds like a plan to destroy what she doesn’t like about herself. See a shrink Palin.

  2. NH on October 14th, 2008 7:51 pm

    Sounds like hateful Democrats as usual.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQalRPQ8stI

    If Obummer loses, get ready to cling to your guns as there will be race riots and class warfare all stirred up by the Democrats….

  3. Ben N on October 15th, 2008 1:48 am

    umm, the Dems don’t seem to have a problem with race…

  4. verbena on October 21st, 2008 4:52 pm

    Actually, it just sounds like yet another amazingly air-headed Sarah Palinism. It’s not the first time (needless to say), and I’m certain it won’t be the last. Still got two full weeks until the election…

  5. JRoddy on October 21st, 2008 10:46 pm

    Way to take a comment out of context Steve. Palin’s quotes in this article were all contained in a satirical speech that was meant to be funny. Do you really believe a governor would seriously make a comment like that about herself unawares? Get a life.

  6. Salvia on July 5th, 2010 11:12 pm

    Oh, the good ole days, when Obama wasn’t President.

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