Democrats Get Issues. Republicans Get Laid. Presidential Politics…It’s All So High School

September 15, 2008 · Filed Under 2008 Election, Barack Obama, John McCain, Media, Sarah Palin 

A political analyst friend has a penchant for asking the regular folk how they see elections. At breakfast the other day he asked a chef in South Philadelphia whether she thought Sarah Palin looked nervous during her Charles Gibson interview on ABC.

“She’s expected to be nervous,” said the chef. “She’s a girl. She’s supposed to excuse herself after dinner and let the men to adjourn to smoke cigars in another room.”

This is from a woman who says “We need Obama.”  She also said, “Keep your eyes on Sarah’s tits.”

And therein lies the brilliance behind the selection of Palin as John McCain’s running mate. High School is where the debate team might win the argument, but the quarterback always wins the girl and Republicans have long known that presidential races are filled with high school giddiness and emotion.

Oh, sure, the nerd on the debate team will get better grades, probably end up with a great job, pretty stable marriage and family while the football star will go through divorce, a bunch of low-paying jobs and 12 step programs. But that is far in the future. Maybe four, sometimes eight years.  But for now the quarterback is in the back seat of 56 Chevy with the head cheerleader.

Today, which one do you want to be?

Not that the Dems won’t continue to discuss the issues, but how does debating whether your tax plan is worse than mine play when the guy debating you just spit on your best girl? The New York Times, Keith Olbermann, Charlie Gibson.  Just wait until Sean Hannity lets Palin rip into the Times for their weekend background investigation on her administrative style.  Oh, the Dems will call the Times piece “analysis based on the facts as they are.”  But the Pubs will differ.

Facts schmacts. You’re puttin’ down my girl. In fact, if you really want to talk facts, Einstein, you’re putting down America’s girl…even though she is from Alaska, which is about as close to America as Russia, which for your information, she can see from her house.

Except for the hiccup that was George Bush the Senior - who in actuality was born of Quarterback Reagan’s stewardship - America pretty much always finds itself in the back seat with the inebriated cool kid.

And with years of getting pounded into the ground by the seemingly oafish, Mr. Touchdown, who just can’t lose for winning, the Democrats keep spitting on the Republican’s best girl. Not that she doesn’t deserve it, but it won’t win you a seat on the student council, let alone the White House.

The genius Dems watched the dastardly bully Chuck Gibson pummel head cheerleader Sarah, sure that her nervousness and inability to come within a football field of a legitimate answer would damn forever her and McCain’s chances of winning. What the Dems fail to understand is that, short of breaking down crying, her performance could not have been more successful for the Republicans. If a tear had run down her cheek during the “Bush Doctrine” smack down segment, it would have nailed the election for the Palin-McCain ticket. Not that the Dems could pull off the same thing. A tearful Ed Muskie proved that years ago. It has to be a “girl.” Not a Hillary Clinton “girl.” You need a “girl” who is fine with letting the men adjourning to the study have their cigars without giving them the stink-eye.  Hillary cried and Obama Dems called her a con artist. If Palin cried, Republicans would be spending the entire weekend looking for the guy who made her and beat him to a pulp. Or at least they have Hannity do it.

McCain’s America is happy to have a girl-type female on the team. The Dems might get foreign policy, but the Pubs get laid. McCain might not understand the basics of the economy, but Dems don’t understand the basics of winning.

We like to think that as we get older, we get better. In some ways that may be, but not when it comes to having your team win.  Go to an Eagles game and watch the grown-ups appreciatively applauding the Cowboy’s brilliant play.  Right.

Republicans figured out a long time ago that winning is a high school sport. Our cheerleaders are prettier than yours. Our school is better than yours. And, no matter what, don’t spit on my girl or you better be ready to meet me after class in the parking lot…or the election booth..

Ask a chef.

Steve

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Comments

6 Responses to “Democrats Get Issues. Republicans Get Laid. Presidential Politics…It’s All So High School”

  1. This article is crap! on September 15th, 2008 1:01 pm

    You write about Republicans rally around “their girl” and try to make politics, the allocation of the desire for public policy, as described by Cynthia Mckinney, into something analogous to “high school football”. Well to Republicans, it may well be that. And this is reflective of their immaturity and lack of emotional development. Well I have a statistic for you. 42 million registered Democrats, 31 million registered republicans. This country was never 50/50, so stop trying to act as though the republicans have something figured out that the Democrats have’nt. No, what you fail to acknowledge is that G.W.Bush LOST in 2000 AND in 2004, by way of losing the electoral collge vote by way of losing in Ohio. No, all the republicans have “mastered” is the art of cheating.Vote caging, so called “felon purges”, voter ID denial, recount stoppage. These are just some of the tactics that the republicans have employed to paper over the fact that they are not the majority of the electorate. People like you need to stop giving these criminals more credit than they deserve, and start writing articles that focus on the TRUTH of the matter, and not some crap focused on fluff and nonsense.

  2. Steve Young on September 15th, 2008 1:23 pm

    I never said I like it, but you’ve obviously never heard of Karl Rove.
    SY

  3. Ginger on September 15th, 2008 7:16 pm

    From the first day I laid eyes on BHO I had the same reaction to GWB. Icould not stand them. I knew in the fiber of my being that these people are truly evil. I have been a RN for many years and know people. I would never vote for BHO even under threat of death.

  4. bfree on September 16th, 2008 1:23 am

    Dear Steve,

    I’m not sure I agree with all of that, but certainly your article does highlight the fact that this election is as much about Anthropology as it is about issues.

    The Dem’s continue to look in the mouth of defeat and deny it, over and over again.

  5. Paul Murray on September 16th, 2008 9:48 am

    New Frame: Sarah Palin is America’s evil stepmom.

  6. Jane@freereminder on July 5th, 2009 12:18 pm

    I thought Bill Clinton got laid… which issues are we talking about, taking from the rich and giving funds to people who don’t want to work? Are we jealous because Hilary isn’t purdy like Sarah… you people never give up.. Hilary will have another… yes I said another chance when Obama gets elected and Hilary will ,promise change.. like the Democtratic Party does every four years and delivers nothing…………

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