GLENN BECK ANNOUNCES JANUARY 15TH “DAY OF SERVICE”

January 12, 2011 · Filed Under Glenn Beck, Kind of Satire · 1 Comment 

Yesterday, Glenn Beck announced his plans for a “Day of Service rally to be held in Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, January 15th. 

I think it is time that every American recommit to the ideals of the founding fathers with white people from all walks of life getting together to solve the nation’s most pressing problems,” said a tearful Beck on his Fox News show. “This is not a political event, nor is it day meant to pay homage to my humble, though clearly noble, achievements.”
 
Told that his day falls on Martin Luther King’s birthday and days before the federal holiday set aside to honor King, Beck said he was unaware of the “mere coincidence.
 
In no way was this meant to coincide with the supposed King holiday, said a lip-quivering Beck. God gives us just so many days through the year and if those honorable people choose to hold their day the same day of myDay of Service, that is their right. But if the mainstream media was honest, they would tell you that if the Founding Fathers were in charge today, King’s day would have been only considered 3/5th of a holiday. My day is meant to be a full 24 hours.  Of course the socialist left will twist my words and try to make what I said racist.”
 
Beck’s Atlanta location for his day is also the birthplace of King.
 
“I guess now I’m to blame for where a person gets born,” said Beck. “Next thing I’ll be the reason Obama was born in Kenya.”
 
Among the planned activities, Beck’s DOS volunteers will be visiting elderly billionaires, delivering food to homeless Wall Street brokers and giving away free snake oil to Beck followers who make under $40,000 a year and still believe anything he says is in their best interest.
 
All expenses for the day will be provided by Goldline, said Beck haltingly.“Remember, you can’t spell gold without God.”  

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Why Glenn Beck Could Be Right

July 30, 2009 · Filed Under Fox News, Kind of Satire · 2 Comments 

“(President Obama) a deep-seated hatred for white people…this guy is, I believe, a racist.” Glenn Beck, Fox & Friends

Defenders of the president say that the president cannot be a racist.  How could he be? He had a white mother and grandmother.  He’d have to hate his mother and grandmother.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Liberal Holier Than Thou.  Did you ever think he that he could have hated his mother and grandmother?  Tell me that there haven’t been times that you hated your mother?  Perhaps she didn’t let you go out o play with your friends when you wanted or didn’t let you have another slice of pizza.  Pizza with extra cheese and sausage.  I admit it’s harder to hate your grand Read more

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Tea Party Democrat Identified

April 17, 2009 · Filed Under Fox News, Media · 6 Comments 

The mystery is finally over. 

During the Fox News Tea Parties™, Fox anchors and hosts assured viewers that the protests were not Republican nor conservative efforts.  Glenn Beck and the rest of the Fox News team went to lengths to mention that the tax day demonstrations were apolitical that also included independents and Democrats. 

Investigators were originally unable to locate any actual Democrats who had showed up at the Tea Parties but after an exhaustive probe of the participants, Mr. Elvin Kardos of Levittown, Pa was identified as the registered Democrat who attended the protest(s).

Democrat Spotted At San Antonio Tea Party(Pictured at left: Democrat at San Antonio Tea Party )

“The missus and I Read more

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Some Are Sicker Than Others: The Glenn Beck Sobriety Story

April 9, 2009 · Filed Under Fox News, Media · 45 Comments 

Glenn Beck is an admitted (recovering) alcoholic. He says that alcohol and substance abuse had ruined his life. He says he no longer partakes.  Now, I’m not the kind of guy who reveals his sobriety…but if I was, I would say that as a (20 year) AA recovering alcoholic, I can personally tell you that just because someone stops drinking it doesn’t mean that he stops being stupid.

Glenn Beck proves that beyond the shadow of a drink.

No where in the 12 Steps does it say that Read more

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The Train, The Mouse And ACORN: Right Wing Radio’s Synopsis of The Stimulus Bill

February 23, 2009 · Filed Under Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh · 1 Comment 

If you happen to be an evening MSNBC fan, haven’t had an opportunity to turn on Fox News, or have yet to open your deluge of forwarded emails from your prolific Republican cousin, conservative talk radio and TV were here to give the Folks the real story behind the Stimulus…, I mean, Spending Bill. Get it? ‘Cause the bill costs money.  Heh-heh.

Did you know that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) included a provision in the economic recovery law calling for $8 billion to be spent on a high-speed rail line between Southern California and Las Vegas?

Thanks to talk radio and Fox News, the Folks™ know.

Did you know that House Leader, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) put $20 million into Read more

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