Kris Allen Tops Susan Boyle For ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ Crown: AT&T Admits Overeager Employees Helped Fans Text For Kris

May 31, 2009 · Filed Under Kind of Satire · 3 Comments 

In a shocker that had Clay Aiken’s ears bleeding, Kris Allen, who did not even participate, won first place in Saturday’s Britain’s Got Talent final, beating out odds on favorite, Susan Boyle.

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know what to feel right now. This is crazy,” said a stunned Allen, 23, of Conway, Ark. “I don’t even know where England is.”

While there are those who believe that zealous Christians wouldn’t vote for the overt sexiness of the signature Boyle shimmy Read more

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