Can’t Wait Until O’Reilly Announces Franken’s Win

January 6, 2009 · Filed Under 2008 Election, Bill O'Reilly, Media 

Holiday - sorry, Bill O’Christmas - vacation is over. Monday morning had the megamouths more than ready to take back the Lords of Loud seats from unlistened to, exaggerated drama-queens and notso best ofs. The broadcast guys and gals will choppin’ at the bit to get to the real business of demeaning Dems and putting a wedge between Americans. And they’ll be more than ready. Rush, Sean, Glenn and the wannabes who received the gift of an overwhelming Republican defeat will spend the next couple weeks building up the momentum so that January 20th will kick off at two, four or more years of blaming the new President and Democrats in power. You think tearing apart every word and move by President Obama won’t be a helluva lot more fun than the defending of the Bush debacle? It’s exhausting trying to nail the powerless Democats for the demise of America. Behind closed mikes, they’d admit that blaming the recession on a president-elect was a contortion of logic that even the Velvet Fog of talk radio, Mark Levin, probably found a bit unweildy.

Not that they didn’t all try. As Mencken was purported to say, “you will never lose money underestimating the American people.” If you want to double your winnings put your money on the Factor Folks.

O’Reilly who will soon be retiring  (i.e. radio failure) from the radio waves so that he can spend more time with his TV Factor family will again push his independent fairness. Perhaps Michael Smerconish, sometimes an O’Reilly fill-in, is the only other “conservative” host who says he’s objective. Difference is, Smerconish is the only one of the two who many times actually is. Bill’s task will be headier than the rest. He’ll not only face a Democratic juggernaut, he’ll have to swallow the reality of his worst nightmare…

Senator Al Franken.

He’s good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, he’s got votes enough to have nipped incumbent Norm Coleman in the race for the Minnesota senate seat.

So fun.

First Bill loses his hilarious attempt to sue for slander over Franken’s book, “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them,”sending Al’s books sales and bank account into the stratosphere, then he dismisses Franken’s run for Senate as “no chance,” which had to send some undecideds into the Franken corner. And now he’s faced with six…that’s right…six years of trying to come up with different ways to try and smear Franken. While the other talkers admittedly relish the opportunity to attack their opponents, Bill’s ever-clumsy attempts at trying to appear balanced, are fueled only by hate and his bitterness at never being accepted by the big-boy’s club at the networks. The result just ends up as a bonanza for Keith Olbermann who’ll need very little original writing or research to fill his “Worst Person of the Day” segment.

Best of all, Bill had told “Fox & Friends,” that if Franken wins he’d have to move to Ireland.   Erin go away, Bill!

Bill leaned on a skewed Wall St Journal piece to support his contention that Franken’s win was full of evil concerns.  But if you didn’t get a chance to hear Bill, I’m pretty sure - using my best impressionist’s intro of a character - It might have looked something…like this…

(Bill, sweaty palms, lump in his throat, shaking as if a cold chill had infected his thin, pale white skin)

Bill: Tonight’s talking point is deals with the stolen election in Minnesota where Stuart Smiley illegally took Norm Coleman’s senate seat using criminal tactics that the mainstream press, in Franken’s pocket, refuses to look into.  Everyone knows he used fake ballots, pre-school children and black magic to stuff the ballot box and turn Colman votes into Franken’s.  That’s a fact.

You think Chicago is bad.  A Factor investigation shows that the Franken thugs computing the ballots counted every Franken vote as a vote for Franken.    There is nothing that Franken is beyond using for his hate-filled, ill-gotten advantage.  Franken, who is too much of a coward to come on to the show, used his numeorous, so-called humnitarian, visits to soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan and other highly-promotable showcase venues, not to support the troops, but to try out new material.   Everyone knows that.  Since when does getting a laugh from a soldier stuck thousands of miles away from his loved ones with the strong possiblity that he may never see them again, count as humanitarian.   I gave them books.  That, Folks, is humanitarian.  That’s a fact. 

And his bedside stops at Veteran’s hospitals were thinly veiled efforts to get free bandages and tongue depressors.  Everyone knows that.

Did I mention that Air America is bankrupt? 

So it is, if Mr. Franken is seated in the senate, the Factor will watch him very closely.  And if he tries to rape a page or kill a puppy, the Factor will be there to expose his crimes.  

And that’s a memo.  Next, an objective analysis with Dick Morris to see how he agrees with me.  Later, in our TV Culture Segment, an exclusive interview with one of the kids who was an extra in the classic sitcom, Our Miss Brooks.   

Meanwhile, accross the dial, expect the next two weeks to be full of insincere wishes for President Obama’s success along with a heaping helping of Ann Coulter. The Lean Queen of Mean will be pimping her newest screed, Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault On America, and the broadcast-right will be more than happy to supply Annie with plenty of oxygen to fuel her precious prose.

Talk radio and TV.  That, Mr. Cavett, is entertainment.

 Steve

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