Trump Takes Credit For Bin Laden Death
“I’ve never been more proud of myself.”
On what he declared was the “greatest triumph” of his Presidential exploration campaign, Donald Trump declared that his efforts were vital to the killing of Osama Bin Laden.
“Today I am even more proud of myself than I was last week,” said a beaming Trump in front of his red and black helicopter emblazoned with the word, TRUMP, he had landed in Times Square during last night’s celebrations injuring at least ten revelers. “It is unambiguously clear that my push to have President Obama reveal what he claims to be his official birth certificate freed our country to return to the important business of catching up with Bin Laden. In no way am I disavowing the significant role our courageous military played in the successful operation. I just think the record needs to show that without my commitment to finding the truth, we may have never given our brave men the opportunity to do their job.”
Trump gave additional credit to what he called “a considerable team of investigators” that he had enlisted to scour the Pakistan landscape to find out what President Obama was not doing to capture the terrorist leader behind the 9-11 attacks.
“You will be shocked at what my investigators have uncovered,” said Trump with the name TRUMP, emblazoned across the side of his hair. “It’s no secret that everyone, including the President, knew what Bin Laden looked like,” said Trump holding up a picture of Bin Laden. “Yet we still don’t know what Obama’s college transcripts look like. What else is this guy hiding?”
Trump maintained there are still plenty of questions that need to be answered.
“Why did we get rid of the body before I got to see it? Why didn’t we bring back Osama’s body back to the United State for a trial? How do we know it was really Bin Laden? And even if it was Bin Laden, why did we give him a proper Muslim burial, which begs the question: How did our president even know what a proper Muslim burial was if he, in fact, is not Muslim?”
Trump, took no questions, but announced that “Celebrity Apprentice” will be renewed for next season even if he runs for President.
“I do it for the troops.”